Soccer chaplain found new hope after depression

By Charles Gardner —

Among those celebrating the promotion to League One of Doncaster Rovers FC is their long-time chaplain and former player Barry Miller.

Chatting with him, he was literally bubbling over with joy. But this was much more about his relationship with Jesus than with any success on the football field.

Barry, 49, was sharing about the way in which God has literally transformed his life over the past few years, although he has been a Christian since his teens.

Suffering from terrible depression for much of his life, his marriage eventually broke up, he lost his job and was made homeless. In fact, he was on the point of committing suicide when he ‘saw’ his kids, as if on a cinema screen, in front of him.

“I realized then that I would rather be in torment for the rest of my life than put them through torment for the rest of their lives,” Barry told me.

“Nevertheless, there was a sense in which I was holding on grimly to the hem of Jesus’ garment, as the desperately ill woman did in the Bible. I’d read all the self-help books, but knew I needed to change the way I was thinking. So, for a start, I decided to thank God for the roof over my head (I was staying with a friend).

“Then, God spoke powerfully through a verse from the Bible: ‘Return to your refuge, you prisoners of hope…’ (Zechariah 9:12)

“The phrase ‘prisoners of hope’ made a huge impact on me. This meant that I was imprisoned by hope, a joyful expression of better things to come. I cannot escape from it. That I have a ball and chain attached to Jesus. I was no longer a prisoner to the world with all its anxieties and stress. God has totally changed my way of thinking, and I am no longer depressed. In fact, I hardly remember what it’s like.

“I still have moments when it tries to creep up on me. But I’m no longer a prisoner to fear. It has totally transformed my life. Sure, I’ve made some stupid choices, but I also know true forgiveness which is an amazing gift God has given us. And I am now itching to tell others who are at the end of their tether about the freedom I’ve found.

“One man from faraway Michigan in the US was on a lakeside contemplating suicide when I was able to reach out to him through social media. What the devil meant for harm God meant for good, using what I’ve been through to set others free.

“God saw me sitting in that car at the side of the road wanting to end it all. I felt alone, but I wasn’t. I call it my fig tree moment, because God saw me there and perfectly understood my predicament.” (See John 1:43-51)

Speculation has it that the disciple in question was probably experiencing some kind of crisis under that tree, and that Jesus knowing all about it not only indicated his deep concern but also his Messiahship as one who knows everything about us.

Barry, who lives in central Doncaster and worships at the Full Life Church in nearby Maltby, has been chaplain at the club through all the ups and down of the past twelve years, spending a day a week supporting staff, families, players and fans with spiritual or other concerns and just being a listening ear. On the day he joined in 2013 the club drew 2-2 with Nottingham Forest in the Championship League.

He also works full-time for the South Yorkshire Housing Association with a similar job description, only in this case encouraging people in difficult circumstances to find jobs and make their way in life. “I can’t believe I’m getting paid to do this,” he mused as it’s something he thoroughly enjoys doing.

His football career kicked off as an apprentice with Brentford when they were in League One. He later played for Gillingham before being loaned to Rovers as a centre-half.

Barry became a Christian through the influence of his ex-wife Felicity and mixing with a church youth club at Greenford, West London. “I saw they had something I didn’t have.”

But what really got him going was the way God answered his prayers to heal a friend’s new-born baby. The friend and his wife had already lost a baby to the same congenital illness a year earlier.

“So I prayed and prayed for God to heal the child – and for a job. I got offered three jobs, and the baby was healed!”

There is a God in heaven who loves and cares for you too, just as he does for Barry!

If you want to know more about a personal relationship with God, go here