Have You Ever Wrestled with God?

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wrestledBy Carol Round“Yes, he wrestled with the Angel and prevailed. He wept and pleaded for a blessing from him”— Hosea 12:4 (TLB).

If you’ve never wrestled with God, you’re missing out. Why would I make that statement when struggling spiritually leaves us feeling alone, overwhelmed, and at times ready to give up?

Yet, even biblical heroes like Jacob wrestled with God. Christian writer Amanda Williams calls it ‘holy wrestling,’ and says, “This profound experience has deepened the  faith of many over the centuries.”

Since I began my journey with Jesus over 20 years ago, I’ve wrestled with God more times than I can count. However, the positive side of wrestling with my Abba Father is a closer relationship with Him. For me, that is the number one benefit.

The Benefits of Wrestling with God

I’d never considered wrestling with God a benefit. However, I recall my nephew’s high school wrestling stint, and I’m reminded of his tenacity. He never gave up. As a high school junior, Rusty won the state championship in his weight division. He was also the first wrestler to win top honors in our Oklahoma county.

My nephew persevered to win, reminding me of Jacob’s perseverance in his wrestling match with an angel of the Lord in Genesis 32. Jacob’s story is one of the most well-known Biblical stories of struggling with God. Jacob angers his twin brother, Esau, which leads to 20 years of hiding from him.

Upon returning to his homeland, Jacob wrestles all night with a divine being. Jacob refuses to let go until he receives a blessing. After the angel grants the blessing, he renames Jacob, calling him, Israel, meaning “one who struggled with God.”

The Blessings of Struggling

In a recent conversation with my spiritual sister, she revealed the struggles she and her family faced since an EF3 tornado hit our town in late May. Clarice is thankful for life. She and her family—all eight of them—were tucked safely in their underground storm cellar when the tornado hit.

However, the destruction left behind left them overwhelmed. Clearing debris and discovering ruined treasures is difficult. Muddied and torn baby clothing from her grown children’s childhood stole her breath away. The clothes were ruined. Her heart ached until she shared stories about the ruined keepsakes with her grandchildren.

As Clarice and her family continue combing through the mess left behind, she’s discovered the blessing of letting go of over 40 years of hanging onto ‘stuff.’ During our conversation, she admitted the freedom of letting go of ‘things,’ things that take up space and crowd out the present.

Things Crowding Out the Present

Later, thinking about my conversation with Clarice, I thought about my struggles. Struggles to let go of past hurts. Struggling to let go of my fears of failure and to become more vulnerable and transparent, I’ve spent too much time letting others define me. I want to live in the present, not the past.

In his book, The Magnificent Defeat, Frederick Buechner characterized Jacob’s divine encounter at the Jabbok River as the “magnificent defeat of the human soul at the hands of God. Through Jacob’s story, we recognize our own struggles: fear, darkness, loneliness, vulnerability, emptiness, exhaustion, and pain.”

But I’ve learned it’s through those struggles, the ‘holy wrestling’ is a time of deepening faith and spiritual growth. During those times, we learn perseverance. We grasp we’re not alone in our struggles and we eventually find peace to leave our future and its timing at the feet of Jesus.

I always love hearing from my readers. Please e-mail me at [email protected] with your thoughts or visit my blog for more inspiration at www.carolaround.com. If you need a speaker or workshop leader, contact me at the above e-mail address or through my website. I’d be delighted to hear from you.

Photo credit:  Elijah Hiett on Unsplash