 God changed the desires of my heart -- By
Kathy Buskirk -- My dad offered me the gift of his faith at an early age. He is a man of integrity. I remember he turned
around once and drove miles to return money to someone who gave him too much change.
I was aware of God and
Jesus. I was aware of God’s hand on me when I nearly married the wrong man. God started calling me personally after I had a family. I didn’t feel a
desperate need, rather, I had a sense of something missing, a little empty feeling, a lack of peace and security. What would
happen if one of my children got sick or my husband lost his job? If times got tough, how would I handle
it? I worked for the airlines and
I can remember being on a vacation and wondering, ‘Is this all there is?’ In 1996 my dad had surgery and I fell apart. He was my rock
– I didn’t know how I would cope if I lost him. He looked so vulnerable after his surgery. I realized then that I really didn’t know what I
believed. I didn’t know where to turn. I went to church regularly but it hadn’t all sunk in. I felt close to God at
church but it didn’t stick throughout the week. I didn’t get it. God brought a friend named Sally into my life. We were trading our preschool
boys back and forth. Sometimes our visiting would turn spiritual. One day Sally asked if I wanted to go through a nine week, ‘One-to-One
Discipling’ book developed by Multiplication Ministries. It scared me, so I asked her, “Can I do one lesson and if I don’t
like it can I quit?” I wanted to leave the back door open. In October 1998 we began to meet for one hour a week. Sally asked me early on
if I understood salvation. As we sat together in the park on a foggy morning, we looked at Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by
grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that
no one can boast.” I closed
my eyes and I saw Jesus smile and I felt Him say, ‘I’ve been calling you.’ At that moment I said, ‘Lord,
you have my heart. You have my faith.’ I met Jesus in a new, fresh way. I found the assurance for heaven I was looking for through Christ.
I found that a tension was
lifted and replaced with a new sense of purpose and peace. He’s really changed the desires of my heart. It was hard for my
husband David and our three kids sometimes. I was the one who had changed and they weren’t sure about that.
About five years ago, God
started to work in my husband David’s heart, little by little. One day, leaving church service, David told me he
wasn’t going to be cynical anymore regarding my faith. God couldn’t work in David’s heart until I let go.
I was trying way too hard. Then I let go. Through David, I’ve seen how the Lord has blessed me. Now I’m on a new journey… my family now
understands how important Jesus is in my life. He is the one I hold on to as I journey down a new
path… To see my full
Godreport page, go to http://www.godreports.com/ministry-view/1210 |
